Me and my mum were in the car and she mentioned, The Mayan Prophecy of 2012? She told me “it is a shift within the universe” Think about it, we are living in a time unprecedented in human history. From 1999 to 2012 in particular, powerful energies that we don’t know about are supporting the spiritual awakening of humanity. It consists of bringing all those tyrants, bigots,murderer’s and corrupt governments being all caught out and justice being served to them, it is obvious it is happening, terrorists politicians have been up-rooted so far, Think of it more as a weeding process. And let them all rot!
If your soul is not yet awakened, you will do it at some stage through crisis.
Sitting in here alone glazing at these for walls, watching the day fade away to night, drinking vodka to drown my sea of sorrows and what doe’s it all come down too? just wating for the certain change that might happen that will give me a another chance in life, a certain change that will give me a boost in life, that will make me feel,i’m living life to the full but I think the wating has gone to long. I just want to leave everything and everyone behind I really am sick off caring when no one shows it back. I feel recently that I have been talked about behind my back from “close” friends but the thing that makes me not care is that I know who I am. I know what I want in life. I choose who I want to be around. But one thing I can’t control is other peoples opinions. I can’t control how people feel. I have decied to back off and stop caring. Feeling this horrible pain inside me is drivng me insane. I really do feel I’m going to be stuck like this for another year. I just want to start my life again.
Isn’t it sad, how the story is never new? Someone fell in love, then out and died too. School, job, kids, grandkids retire. If you don’t die by cancer death will find you. I’ve packed my bags and I’ve said goodbye I’ll always have memories of you picked up the whiskey of the floor I can’t be drunk anymore without you
Isn’t it so sad? That it must end..
And dont you know I got tired/sick of living a long time ago
Its just the waves making the same motions Its just the waves making the same motions
You grow up to be an awkward child, wasn’t easy for you how does it feel, facing the inevitable Soon your tombstone will be covered in moss The weeds will grow over your grave and nobody will visit you and people will look upon it and wonder who you were Its not something new, its been done before.
Ever have those weeks when you just feel like there is no end from being depressed? Annoying thing is I don’t even know whats wrong with me, It’s been like this for three weeks now. Haven’t slept properly fucking sucks! I’m just sick of hiding it inside! But at the same time it’s helping me write deep songs. Looks like I am just going to have to wait it out.
Lately it feels like there is no end into this twisted world, it feels like I am stuck in this vicious cycle and it’s never going to end. It just seems it’s one thing after another. It feels like I cant trust certain friends, certain people. One thing that has struck me thou is a profound spiritual awakening (Self Realization “The key to happiness and fulfillment in life), I would define self realization as a connection with yourself or the first encounter with reality. This has really helped me alot, just think of it as a alternative way of perceiving life.
There is nothing better than going for a walk when the moon is shining bright, for me the moon has a really strong energy that changes you. Whilst I was walking that my mood changed that I was feeling overwhelmed with ideas and a new way of thinking!
Over the past years I have realised that most people in relationships are masochists.
When was the last time you were with someone who supported your big dreams of e.g. fame, success, gave you freedom to see the world and who kept inspiring confidence in your ability to achieve and reach your goals on life?
True love is appreciating the happiness of another.
It’s something this generation of people has forgot about.
how do you tell someone you love them?? when they don't want you?
The answer your more looking at is, it love or lust? Are you close to this person? Why are they not showing you the same emotion back? For myself at the moment and yes I will be honest. I have gave up on relationships because I always end up fucked over. :) Hope you get through to the person <3
Yes back from London, it was rather good :D Got pissed every night and also met Les Claypool (Singer from Primus) and the rest of them he even gave me abit of his weed xD. But yeh I went Job hunting, It was rather easy, I just asked my brother he is a Manger of satellite communication’s for aircraft and mobile phone devices, he said he could get me in no problem, The job pays up to 70 quid a day, and you can work your way up, hence my pay would increase. It sounds great doesn’t it? :D I said to him I would go next year. So theres a job! :D
I’m away to England tommorow to see Primus in the o2 then going to visit my family and friends :D Then going to go job hunting in London and see whats about there, I plan to stay there if something comes up, I’m not going to tell anyone thou that I am not comming back. I plan to leave this sham of a country with a bang!
Lately I have been thinking a fucking very hard question, a question that most people find it hard to find a solution to answer the problem. The question for me is, What do I want out of my life? What is my destination? As a human I can achieve anything realistically. I can list things at the moment, I can see myself maybe helping troubled children, perhaps? Maybe a sound engineer? Many more to be listed. Gay as it may sound all this, but how to people cope with dealing with it? For me I see people working as doctors, cashiers, bin-men (Environmental engineers “Had to be said xD”) and so on, and ask myself, “Really? Did they really want to to this for a living?” “Did they plan this from when they were in there adolescent years?” “Are they happy?” But yes at the moment for me, I am still trying to find myself and respect the world more, maybe I just need more time, maybe I should concentrate on myself.
I may be working for the fat cats, but that’s just literally because there are no jobs anywhere else, and for being eighteen I am highly paid, and I need money to power my passion for music. But I don’t wont to be stuck in that job forever. I don’t want to be like the rest of those people, who are subjected to oppression and not getting the full out of life’s potential.
Right so I have been drinking since last Wednesday through to this Monday after-noon, I really don’t know why I took the challange? But it’s deadly to escape life’s situations, and yes the worst thing I had was withdrawel symtoms, I take it I was close to alcohol posioning if I didn’t stop. So yeh Alcohol may get rid of problems but really your just hiding them. Hence why alcoholism and alcohol abuse is in the rise. But I am left with the worst come down ever. Someone just kill me..
I Woke up at like four in the afternoon, made tea, came to terms with lastnights situation etc. And I went in search of my mother to try and find her. I shouted for at least for one hour looking for her around the garden and in around the house. And yes I come across a note.
Dear Charlie boy,
I have booked flights to England for two weeks, I booked them 2 hours ago.
By the time you read this I will in England with your aunty in the pub. There
is fifty pounds under this. Have fun :)
So two weeks in this house by myself. Brilliant :L
Hi i heard what happend last night from one of my friends, but you know shit happens and from what i see in you is a really good person. and the fact that you might of made that mistake is most likely tearing you up, but still you have to learn from your mistakes.
Fuck doesn’t news travel quickly around this fucking town, but yeh I can’t say I’m perfect everyone has a flaw because at the end of the day we are human. I really do regret what happend but y’know anon you learn from your mistakes. Sometimes you just have to stand back up on your own two feet and keep fighting the battle.
I thought tonight was going to be a standard night, until someone who i thought was my “friend” forced herself on me. and yeh i like someonne else fucking seen. So how the fuck am i ment to justify it wasnt intentional. So time to smash stuff………
Yeh so this summer I plan to get around to recording a solo album :D I just need 500 pound more for the equipment. Already got myself a high end computer worth 450 pound, just need to wait until my postman hurrys up!! Just a wee bit more to go :) Lets hope I win the lottery tonight. I’m so desperate I even bought 5 tickets!!!! C’mon!!!!
A whole week of planning a party and people leave half way through it, and bands drop out! At the end people fucking fighting! Washed down with peoples drinks getting spiked! Deadly 18th! I havent slept! And yeh it feels fucking great!! Fml….
I’m writing you this letter to tell you that I’m leaving you forever. I’ve been a good man to you for 7 years & I have nothing to show for it. These last 2 weeks have been hell.
Your boss called to tell me that you quit your job today & that was the last straw. Last week, you came home & didn’t even notice I had a new haircut, had cooked your favorite meal & even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers. You ate in 2 minutes, & went straight to sleep after watching all of your soaps. You don’t tell me you love me anymore; you don’t want sex or anything that connects us as husband & wife. Either you’re cheating on me or you don’t love me anymore; whatever the case, I’m gone.
Your EX-Husband P.S. don’t try to find me. Your SISTER & I are moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great life! —— Dear Ex-Husband
Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter.
It’s true you & I have been married for 7 years, although a good man is a far cry from what you’ve been. I watch my soaps so much because they drown out your constant whining & griping Too bad that doesn’t work. I DID notice when you got a hair cut last week, but the 1st thing that came to mind was ‘You look just like a girl!’ Since my mother raised me not to say anything if you can’t say something nice, I didn’t comment. And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY SISTER, because I stopped eating pork 7 years ago. About those new silk boxers: I turned away from you because the $49.99 price tag was still on them, & I prayed it was a coincidence that my sister had just borrowed $50 from me that morning.
After all of this, I still loved you & felt we could work it out. So when I hit the lotto for 10 million dollars, I quit my job & bought us 2 tickets to Jamaica But when I got home you were gone.. Everything happens for a reason, I guess.
I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said that the letter you wrote ensures you won’t get a dime from me.
So take care.
Signed, Your Ex-Wife, Rich As Hell & Free!
P.S. I don’t know if I ever told you this, but my sister Carla was born Carl. I hope that’s not a problem.
Yeh so, Two days ago I had a dream with me and my ex, we were up on a mountain with a laptop and she was on tumblr, (This is going to seem weird) and her tumblr was full of porn lol, and then she was all like “I made a mistake breaking up with you” :S Next day the dream stuck with me, It was one of those really heavy emotional dreams that stick with you all day and make you feel sick. I then was just on facebook there and she added to tumblr to her activities :S I then challenged myself to look for it and I found it!!! And the fucked up thing is she joined on the 9th of june! Thats the night of the dream. I really can’t believe that! Maybe I have some kind of super ability! This has only happened once. :S
Hmmm maybe it’s a early warning sign? Well no, once you break my heart it’s over for good. it’s not going to happen :)